The Plot Thickens: New Road to Legend Download!

Fantasy Flight are releasing FREE downloadable plot cards for their epic dungeon-delving campaign game Descent: Road to Legend.

Plot cards help the evil Overlord player to weave his terrible web over the forsaken land of Tamriel. (You have no idea what I’m talking about, I know.) All you Overlords out there know that you can never have too many plots! (Unless you’re a real estate salesman during a global recession.)

Head over to the Fantasy Flight website right now for the first of the cards. If you don’t own the game, you could always check it out anyway, and then spend the rest of the night imagining how amazing the game might be. While printing out multiple copies of the card. And eating them and stuffing them inside your underwear.

DowntimeTown Episode 5 Is Up!

DowntimeTown Episode 5 is now LIVE LIVE LIVE.

This time it’s all about Hour of Glory from Warmacre.

Watch it on the vimeo player on the right of the site, or it’ll be in the shows section soon, if youTube is more your thing.

Zaa Ooo Zaa!

App-y Days: KniZia On The iPhone

The App Store for the iPhone and iPod Touch will soon be offering a new bit of board game action. It’s Reiner Knizia’s Robot Master.

For those who don’t know, Reiner Knizia is one of the hottest names in board game design. He was always destined to be a board game designer, his name being worth a massive number of points in Scrabble.

Robot Master is a game of “strategical placement”. Knowing Knizia’s stuff as I do, it’ll be a clever abstract affair with a robot theme just flung on top to make it more palatable.

Here’s a couple of screenies:

And you can follow the man behind the iPhone version on Twitter here.

By the way, I’m getting an iPhone for my birthday. Which is on the 29th of July, for your reference.

I’m just saying! It’s not like I’m linking to my Amazon wishlist or anything!

Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay goes RPGPDF

Fantasy Flight have announced that they’ve made an arrangement with DriveThruRPG and RPGNow to make Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay Second Edition books available for PDF download. For a fee, naturally. This ain’t a charity, kid.

The first wave of releases include the main rulebook and the vital bestiary. And there’s a promise that many more will follow in the months ahead:

Future waves will arrive every few weeks throughout the summer, with plans to have more than twenty books available for download.

This is great news, people. Some of these books are a PAIN IN THE SCROTUM to get hold of, so dig on in.

We’re certainly aiming to check them out, because we’re going to be running a series of narrative-heavy campaign articles down the line, and muggins here needs to check out if he can create a legendary Warhammer Quest/Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay hybrid campaign for the ages.

Course I can! You gotta believe!

Zaa Ooo Zaa!

Dominion: Intrigue – This Week

Rio Grande Games’ Dominion: Intrigue, the expansion for the highly rated card game Dominion, is out this week. Here’s what the publisher tells us about the new box:

Dominion: Intrigue adds rules for playing with up to 8 players at two tables or for playing a single game with up to 6 players. This game adds 25 new Kingdom cards and a complete set of Treasure and Victory cards. The game can be played alone by players experienced in Dominion or with the basic game of Dominion.

Dominion is a game we haven’t played yet, so we’re not sure how exciting this news is. But an expansion for a popular game is always a good thing, right?

NOT FOR YOUR WALLET IT’S NOT! (Assuming you have a wallet, that is. Or a purse. You might just stuff your money into your underwear for all we know. We’re not judging anyone.)

Into The Magic Circle

Magic: The Gathering.

Somehow, the game managed to pass me by. When the game was launched, back in the early nineties, it coincided with the first bloom of my interest in girls. I was a late starter. I was past sixteen before it even registered that I was a pupil of a school (All Saints Secondary School in Glasgow, fact fans/stalkers) where every girl had a thing for tiny skirts and thigh-high black socks. All of a sudden, there was only one thing I wanted to tap, and it wasn’t a Land Card. Tap? Get it? Just getting the obvious jokes out of the way early doors. (Oh, by the way, I don’t want anyone thinking I was some gigolo type in school. I lost my virginity at 19. A late starter, I told you.)

By that age, my board game buying had slowed. I remember buying the Army of Darkness board game. One of my last purchases before video games stole me away. It was an awful thing. Terrible cheap components. A cash-in designed to exploit young guys like me who would buy anything with Bruce Campbell on the front. It was one of the last straws. Girls and music and video games had lit a fire in me. Board games and pen and paper RPGs? They’d just become so unsexy.

Magic never had a chance. I think the first time I saw people play Magic was in a little shop upstairs in DeCourcy’s Arcade in Glasgow’s Cresswell Lane. I was in buying Funkadelic and Parliament CDs. And there, in the corner, were guys my age sitting at tables playing cards. I actually remember asking someone what was going on.

Me: So what’s the script here?
Young guy: They’re playing Magic.
Me: They’re playing what?
Young guy: Magic. It’s a card battle game.
Me: Is it?

And with that “Is it?” I remember that I was chuckling on the inside. Guys my age playing “card battle games”? When there was funk to listen to and girls to pursue? I was a traitor to the cause back then. Going through that “put away childish things” phase. Pretending I wasn’t the total geek you see before you today.

And so it went on. Fleeting glimpses of Magic: The Gathering matches in comic shops. Overheard discussions of the latest cards in video game shops. I rolled my eyes every time. And yet I’d never even held a Magic card in my hand, never mind knew what the game was or how it played.

Until this weekend just past.

I was in a Borders book shop on Saturday. My girlfriend was browsing, looking for a Father’s Day gift. I was drawn to the SALE section, as ever. And there, alongside some terrible celebrity cookery books and overpriced wooden bookmarks, was Magic. Booster packs. Loads of them. Reduced from two quid fifty to a pound a pop.

A pound. Only a pound. And my days of shameful eye-rolling at things that were actually aimed at people like me were long behind me.

I picked up a booster pack. I only knew it was a booster pack because it said BOOSTER PACK on the front. The trouble was… it didn’t say anything else. Sure, it had a name on it – this one was MAGIC: THE GATHERING – LORWYN BOOSTER PACK. Whatever the hell that is. But it didn’t tell me anything. It didn’t tell me what I needed to play. It didn’t tell me whether it was an expansion thing or a main game thing or if you could mix the boosters or how many boosters were needed to play a game or anything or anything or ANYTHING. But a pound a pack is a bargain, right?

I made a phone call. Phoned Kenny, asked him to do some Googling for me. “Find out if you can mix all the boosters, if you can use different types together.” I rang him back five minutes later. It was a tentative yes. Good enough for me. A pound a pack is a bargain, right? Sure. Of course it is.

I bought 26 packs. The guy behind the counter looked at me with an “Is it?” in his eyes.

Home, with almost 300 cards to open and sort through. Excited. Seriously excited. People like us, board gamers, geeks, nerds, we love opening shit, right? I open one pack. It’s all jibber-jabber. I haven’t a clue what I’m looking at. Lovely art, though.

I look at what’s written on the card. Sure. A Simic Guildmage. We all know what that is, right? A little bit of panic creeps in. I have no idea what I’ve just spent almost thirty quid on.

Then I remember that months ago I picked up a Magic starter set thing when I saw that on sale. I dig it out. There’ll be rules inside, right? There is. A big poster-sized sheet. I spread the thing on the table. I scan the rules. Seems simple enough. I check through the cards that come with the starter pack.

“ENOUGH CARDS TO GET YOU STARTED!” it says. And then casually mentions that there’s only really enough for two smaller-sized limited starter decks, fella. And those decks aren’t actually the proper things at all. Oh, and you’ll have to get out and buy more to make proper decks and stuff, fella. But, yeah, in the meantime “ENOUGH CARDS TO GET YOU STARTED!” Kind of.

I read about Land Cards. You need to tap land cards to cast spells and summon creatures. You need to play and tap Land Cards. Land Cards seem to be the key. I check how many I have.

I have 24 Land Cards. I have 26 pounds worth of booster packs. Almost 300 cards. And only 24 Land Cards. Now, when you bear in mind that my original plan was to buy all these cheap cards and then have fun constructing a couple of good decks for myself and my girlfriend to play with, this Land Card thing becomes a total bastard.

I’m confused again. I re-read the rules. How was I to know you need Land Cards aplenty before you can play the game properly? Is it so wrong to assume that if you buy HUNDREDS of cards you might be able to…you know…PLAY THE FUCKING GAME?

This is me realising I'm light on Land Cards

Have no sympathy for me, though. A man should always take care to inform himself before entering a new world. I didn’t do that, and I paid the price. And it’s karma, for all those times I rolled my eyes.

The game itself? I feel like I have a handle on how it works. Not by playing with the actual cards, of course. (Because, and you may have heard this story, I don’t have enough Land Cards to make decent decks.) But by playing the trial version of the recently released Magic: The Gathering – Duels of the Planeswalkers Xbox Live Arcade game. There’s a tutorial in there, and I’ve let it lead me through the basics. And you know what? It looks like Magic might actually be a wonderful game.

It just isn’t an easy game to start. It feels like a world that’s difficult to force your way into. It’s difficult to know what to buy first, or how to tailor your purchases so that you have enough game to be getting on with. I’ve often heard people saying the game’s a money pit. And I’ve always thought “yeah, you just have no self-control.” And yet here I am, with all these lovely cards, and no way to play without shelling out more cash for a couple of theme decks or starter packs or-

And see? There we go again. I don’t actually know what my next step is. I don’t actually know what I’m doing yet. I’m mystified. Baffled. Worried.

Worried because last night I opened a pack and a beautiful shiny thing came out. A shiny foil card. A forspecial. I held it under a lamp and watched it shimmer. For a moment, it seemed to have just as much appeal as any funk CD or thigh-high sock. It was beautiful. Magical. And I knew I wanted more.

What can I tell you? I’m a late starter.

More Blood for the Blood God!

The Fantasy Flight website has just offered up another preview of the upcoming Chaos In The Old World, a game of corruption and domination set in the wonderful Warhammer universe.

This time round they’re profiling everybody’s favourite Blood God – Khorne.

Check out these guys. A regular couple of Khorneballs.

And to get us in the romantic mood, check out these choice quotes:

Fueled by hate, Khorne’s rage has drenched many a world in blood.

and

It is good indeed to be the Blood God.

It’s language like this that sets DowntimeTown’s heart afire with geek joy, so make sure to jump on over to the Fantasy Flight website and read more about a game we’ll be keeping a very close eye on.

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! AGAIN!

Gimme Steam!

CHOO-CHOO!

Steam , the eagerly awaited Martin Wallace train game (a reworking of his much-loved Age of Steam), is finally landing on the tables of boardgamers all across the globe.

Published by Mayfair Games, Steam sees you take control of a railway company, as you expand your network of rail lines in a cutthroat world of uncompromising industrial bastards. Or, as Mayfair Games put it:

In Steam™ you build railroads and deliver goods along an ever changing network of tracks and stations. You build the tracks, upgrade towns, improve your train, and grab the right goods to make the longest, most profitable deliveries. Score your deliveries and add to your income or victory points, balancing your need to invest against your quest to win the game.

So there you go. We know for sure that some online UK games websites have it in stock, and your FLGS probably has it too.

As Peter Gabriel famously said:

“Gimme Steam!”

Guide to the Perfect Games Night

Everyone loves a good games night, right? By “games night” I mean a night when some like-minded people get together and play a board game or two. Now, you might be someone who:

(a) Had a terrible games night, which ended with your friends throwing you into a river with a big-box game like Twilight Imperium or Descent tied round your ankles

or

(b) Have never even had a games night, because you either:

(a) Have no friends, because of hygiene issues

or

(b) Have no board games, because you’re an idiot

or

(c) Think the idea of a “games night” sounds excruciatingly bad, and you’ll be busy anyway, dating hot men/women and taking drugs.

or

(d) Don’t know how to go about having a games night.

or

(e) Are in a mental institution because you keep writing articles full of multiple choice options, letters and brackets.

or

(c) Are in a mental institution because you keep writing articles full of multiple choice options, letters and brackets.

Well, if you are one of options (a) or (b(d)) (sorry about all the brackets (and that one just there, and the ones coming up)) then you’ll be happy to know that DowntimeTown has the perfect guide for you. The guide to the PERFECT board game night.

THE DOWNTIMETOWN GUIDE TO THE PERFECT GAMES NIGHT

1. CHOOSE THE RIGHT GAME

The game has got to be right for your group. For example, if your group enjoys good games, do not put Risk on the table. Gauge the interests of the group by phoning them at 3 in the morning every night in the week leading up to your games night. A person asked a question at 3 in the morning will always answer truthfully, although the truth will probably be screamed at you and will be wrapped in lots of swear words. Find out what type of thing they like and then pop onto The Geek to find the ideal game.

2. LEARN THE RULES, IDIOT

Reading rules at the table is BAD! And you are BALD!

For God’s sake learn the rules. Whatever game you decide to play, make sure you have those rules DOWN. Study them. Commit them to memory. If, on the day of your games night, you are going for a shit without taking the rules with you to read on the pan, you are not doing your job properly. Another option is to print out copies of the rules (usually the website of the board game’s publisher will provide downloadable rulebooks) and send them to the players in advance. Just be aware that NONE OF THEM WILL ACTUALLY READ THEM BECAUSE THEY HAVE LIVES. So it’s down to you. Learn the rules, idiot.

3. PRACTICE SET-UP

Modern board games often take an age to set up. The average set-up time of a modern board game is 17 Passings of the Moon. You need to shorten that set-up time, because no-one likes waiting around while you get your stuff straight. (Am I right, ladies?) Consider the terrible sport of Grand Prix Racing. In that world there is a pit crew. And those guys practice getting shit done FAST, so that they can enhance the careers of spoiled rich kids whose machines do all the work. So you can certainly put in the time to enhance the evening of your friends, right?

4. KEEP IT BRIEF

The rules explanation. The whole night can be won or lost on the rules explanation. If it turns into a lecture, you’re screwed. Be as brief as you can feasibly be. There’s nothing worse than explaining the rules of a game and seeing people’s eyes glaze over and their drool starting to drip onto your unsleeved cards. Start the game as soon as you can. You can demonstrate a turn and explain any details as you go. Believe me here, no-one can go long on a rules explanation and survive. If Barack Obama himself took an hour over the book-keeping details of Arkham Horror, your group would be screaming for impeachment.

5. DO NOT FLIP THE FUCK OUT

His eyes are already drying out and turning black.

This is the one I have a problem with. I am a terrible loser. I hate to lose. On your special games night, you need to follow this rule: DO NOT FLIP THE FUCK OUT. You have invited some friends for a fun night playing one of the many amazing board games out there. It is a positive experience. No-one wants you ruining it all by starting to flip the fuck out when things don’t go your way. There are different ways of flipping the fuck out. There’s the TOTAL FUCKING FLIPOUT, where you will flip the board in the air, kick things over, call someone’s wife a slut and someone’s husband a manslut, and eventually wake up in jail. There’s the MILD FUCKING FLIPOUT, where your voice gets that annoying nasal sound to it, and you moan and whine about how “imbalanced” or “cheap” the mechanic of a brilliant board game is, and all because you fucked up. And then there’s the type of flipout that might be the worst – THE FUCKING STEALTH FLIPOUT.

This flipout is deadly. You fall silent. You smile and keep up appearances. You pretend you don’t care that the whole table just ganked the hell out of you. You pack the stuff away and see everyone out, wishing them a good night.

You go to bed. You lie there, in the darkness, seething. Your eyes are wide open, staring at the ceiling. You can’t even blink you’re so angry. Your eyeballs start to dry out. In the morning, you get up and go to the bathroom. Your eyeballs have turned black by this time. You take some lipstick and draw a dice symbol on your face. You get in the car.

You visit each of your friends’ homes in succession. And you kill them all, in a board game style.

Friend 1: you roll dice down his throat until his stomach ruptures.

Friend 2: You hack him up and bury his parts in two shallow graves, one marked “Draw Grave” and one marked “Discard Pile.”

Friend 3: You strip him, cover him in wool and take him to an abbatoir. You find the conveyor belt carrying lambs to the slaughter and swap him in for one of the animals. You watch as he is killed and hung, having successfully traded him for sheep.

Friend 4: You throw him into an incredibly elaborate and enormous Dice Tower you’ve built, letting his body tumble to the bottom, his bones smashing in a satisfyingly random manner.

All that said, I’d state again: DO NOT FLIP THE FUCK OUT. Just have fun. It’s great to play games with friends. Enjoy!

And that’s your 5-step plan to the perfect Games Night!

If you have a games night, let us know down below, and show us some pics!

Zaa Ooo Zaa!

DowntimeTown Episode 4 is Up!

That’s right! Cast your eyes to the right and on the vimeo player you’ll see that episode 4 of DowntimeTown is now available for your viewing pleasure.

You can, of course, click through to the section of the site called “the shows” and watch it on youTube, if you’re crazy.

This time, the show’s all about the wonderful Memoir 44, from Days of Wonder!

Zaa Ooo Zaa!

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