Space Hulk – Magic Flavour Ice Cream
August 19, 2009 by Robert
Filed under Board Game Articles
This week was supposed to be all about the launch of Campaign Week on the site, but something far bigger and far more important has cropped up. As you’ll have seen in our news section, Games Workshop has announced the release of a new version of their classic board game Space Hulk.
Why is Space Hulk so important? Because it is probably MY FAVOURITE GAME OF ALL TIME.
Space Hulk and I were destined to be together. I want to take this opportunity to tell you the story of how I fell into Genestealers’ arms for the first time, and how life used to be for a Glasgow boy who loved games and toys.
I’m going to be patchy on the ages and dates front, but I want to freewheel this and lay it all out in the way I remember it all happening.
The story is called “Magic Flavour Ice Cream.”
Once upon a time, there was a boy called Robert. He lived in a big Swedish house on the corner of a main road in the North of Glasgow. It was summer, as it always is in stories like this, and Robert had recently been given a very special present by his Auntie Sadie. The present was a big bit of furniture Auntie Sadie didn’t want anymore. A strange big hulking thing. It looked like a much bigger version of this:
It was an impressive big thing, and Robert set about the task of filling it with cool stuff. RPG sourcebooks. Fighting Fantasy books. Action Figures. Piles of Batman and Justice League comics. This Justice League comic was bagged and stuck on the side of the unit, because it kicked off the greatest run of comics in comics history:
The tabletop part of the massive desk/cupboard was used for sessions of RPGs. Robert just loved poring over the DC Heroes 2nd Edition box set of an evening, generating new adventures for his schoolfriends to take part in.
One day, Robert’s friend Graham told him that a boy on the street had some Games Workshop stuff he wanted rid of. Robert, being a boy from a good working class family, could rarely afford to plunder Games Workshop’s wares – which even today seem aimed at a more well-to-do class of youngster, a true negative of Games Workshop’s style of marketing. Anyway, excited at the news of Games Workshop stuff needing a good home, Robert said to Graham “Take me to this boy.”
The boy’s name is lost in the mists of time, sadly, but he lived nearby. Graham arranged the meeting. Robert stood at the foot of a hill, the sun blazing down, waiting for the boy to arrive.
Robert knew of Games Workshop’s activities by reading White Dwarf and seeing an occasional review in old Dragon magazines. He imagined what wonders the boy might be bringing to him. Would it be an old copy of Talisman? Dungeonquest, perhaps?
A small boy appeared at the end of the road. He walked towards Robert. He carried no big boxes, no bags full of lovely stuff. He carried only this: two old-style ice cream tubs. Two big tubs, stacked one on top of the other. Ice cream.
“Ice Cream?” Robert mouthed.
“Stuff’s in here,” the boy said. He popped one of the lids open. Inside, Robert saw a stack of cardboard tiles, and some loose miniatures – monsters of some kind.
“Genestealers,” the boy said.
Genestealers.
Now, this was back in the days when the word “gene” was still part of science-fiction. The word Genestealer set young Robert’s imagination on fire.
A swap was made. Robert barely heard the boy’s explanation as the trade was organised.
“It’s called Space Hulk I lost the box my brother bought me it I have nobody to play it with really so it’s just sitting there yeah those Real Ghostbusters figures look good no I need that one sure if you want to swap aye let’s do it then the rulebooks and everything are all there it’s just the box that’s away.”
All just words, spinning into the summer sky, as Robert’s head filled with visions of being pursued by monsters that don’t just kill you, don’t just eat you, but fuck with your very genes. Steal them, even.
Robert took the Magic Flavour Ice Cream home.
His first games of Space Hulk were played solo. He discovered the concept of Overwatch for the first time. The brilliant, graceful genius of Space Hulk Overwatch. The term Overwatch slipped into his vocabulary.
“Keep an eye out for the teacher, Rab.”
“Nae danger. I’m on overwatch.”
When Robert went to sleep at night, he dreamt this scene:
He was a Space Marine Terminator. And the Genestealers were coming at him from every angle. His heart pumping. Split seconds from death. Praying his bolter didn’t jam. It wasn’t a nightmare, though. It was one of those terrifying dreams young men often have – a fantasy, a joyous liberating fear-fantasy. Like that zombie dream we’ve all had. You know the one.
He was still playing solo. He would be Space Marines, trying to survive, and then he’d be the Genestealers. Every night, after school, laying out the shape of the Hulk. Constructing it from the plans in the Scenario Book. Working from the very blueprints that would make him the man he would inevitably be.
Memories were created that Robert would never forget.
Memories of jammed bolters and the perfect Genestealer flanking maneouvre, while downstairs my Da is watching The Bill.
This isn't my Da, it's Burnside from The Bill.
Memories of a clean Blood Angels advance to mission objective while Robert’s friends Graham and Speil wrestle and punch each other on the floor.
Robert and Space Hulk. For days and weeks and months. Lots of games against others, but the ones that Robert played on his own were the magical ones. Like playing Chess against himself. Punishing himself for his own mistakes. The beautiful design of the game lets strategies get deeper and deeper while the gameplay stays simple and action-packed. Robert needed nothing else. School, home, Claw, bolter, overwatch, jam, flank, kill, survive, die, bed.
One day, Robert suddenly started to get older and leave these things behind. It was like he’d eaten a poisoned apple and had fallen into a sleep. During that sleep games got thrown out and swapped away and lost. Things were completely lost, and Robert, under a spell, would never ever remember what he did with them. DC Heroes. Nightfall. Shadowrun. His original Heroquest. Advanced Space Crusade. Comics. Toys. Space Hulk. All lost. All gone. While asleep.
Robert was very sad about this. As an older boy, when he heard the following song for the first time, he had to go to an open window and stare out of it, pretending he had something in his eye.
He had been asleep. And he’d lost something.
He tried new things. He ate ice cream of many flavours. Something was missing. A man now, not a boy, he made sure to give the video game version of Space Hulk a special mention on his videogame TV show. It was his nod to the boy he left behind.
Then, one day, Robert decided to cut back on his computer game hobby so that he could try to rediscover his earlier ones. That night he had a dream. In the dream, he was a super-soldier in a dark, dead ship. And a Genestealer was hissing in that darkness.
A Genestealer. A Gene Stealer.
Robert bought Space Hulk from a place called “ebay” the very next day. It was the first game of his new board game collection. And this time, it was complete with its box.
Ice Cream in a box? That’s new.
And as you can see from the collection page on the site, they all lived happily ever after!
“Excuse me a moment.”
He goes to the window.
“I too seem to have something in my eye” – he says, barely turning his head.
Outside the trees fawning in the wind.
And saying very quietly, so that only he can hear -
“…and that thing is tears.”
Beautiful article, Rab. Beautiful.
This came together in my head like a Small Films cartoon.
I have ordered it. I am getting my copy delivered to Games Workshop Aberdeen and I am going there on 5th Sept for the Space Hulk day. After Rab recommended it I was dithering – £60 is a fuck lot of cash for a game. So I asked Denise and showed her it and she said, ‘That looks ace. You should get it ordered before it sells out.’ And so I have. Hopefully find someone who can paint the figures for me. Very, very excited about playing this for the first time.
So thank you Rab, you big beautiful Glesga man-child you.
Lovely, Rab. Thanks for reminding me about the poison apples, it’s too late for me but could be just in time for one of my boys (he’s 15).
I’m still on the fence a bit.
I’ve got more than enough models and parts of Space Hulk 2nd edition to play with if I wanted.
The nostalgia value is huge because SH was really the first wargame I ever propperly played though.
Then there’s Incursion, http://www.incursiongame.com/ , very similar basic mechanics to SpaceHulk, but with a heap of added extras…and nazi zombies with naval mines in their chests. I mean I know Genestealers are cool, really really cool…but nazi zombies with naval mines in their chests cool?
This is gonna be a hell of a tough decision for me.
Nex, get off that fence. If you have second edition, you’ve got the edition most Space Hulk fans feel was a bad idea. The new edition is based on the first edition ruleset. And Games Workshop deserve credit for really pushing the boat out on the miniatures here. Every one unique. Every one beautiful. You’ll regret it if you don’t pick this one up.
Well that’s me well and truly off the fence my preorder is away.
I think it’s mostly because of it being based off the first edition, while 2nd edition was the first I owned I remember and loved reading about first edition in White Dwarf for a number of years.
Besides you can never have too many board games, they keep pretty much forever if you look after them.
A lovely tale – I’m wondering if my brother in law fancies going halves on a set? I unfortunately can’t think of anyone else I know who’d be interested in playing
Personally I was always a Hero Quest person as a child – though that obviously didn’t have the flexibility of the Space Hulk setup.
Perhaps time to root through the parents loft to find it?
I’m very glad I’ve ordered Space Hulk.
As a kid, after playing it and returning home to my brother, I described it as a Boardgame Par Excellance. It clearly amazed my brother. I think it kinda amazed me, as I have no idea where I picked up that phrase from then.
Thinking about this now, I wonder if my whole career in games writing was born speaking bollocks about Space Hulk.
KG
I popped in to Games Workshop to see the game in action. Now, maybe it’s because the person demonstrating the game was annoying little shit, but I couldn’t see the appeal of the game. It looks amazing, no need to convince me of that – but the sheer amount of dice being rolled put me off. There didn’t seem to be any strategy on the Tyranid side, and barely any on the Terminator side.
I am prepared to be put right, though.
There’s never a great deal of dice being rolled, really. And it’s ALL strategy. If it was just a demo game, it’s probably tailored more towards BANG BANG SHOOT SHOOT to attract the kids. At heart it’s a turn-based thinker that also lets you mash some dice. I LOVE IT.
This is a lovely story. I can’t relate to the specifics as all this Games Workshop stuff entirely passed me by but I can definitely relate to the spirit of it.
Great article, I posted a link to this at
http://www.boardgamegeek.com/thread/437897
I hope you dont mind
Thaks Dude, appreciated.
My name is Robert too, so your story strikes a chord!
Well done! I almost teared up here in my cube.
This is simply beautiful. It makes me so happy to know that there were kids on the other side of the pond who were playing Space Hulk alone. I’ll never forget that Christmas I used all my present money to go buy a copy of Space Hulk from The Gatekeeper down town. Set on top of my Space Marine box back in ‘92, they both looked quite impressive.
Thank you again for this piece.
There’s an excellent feature on the new Space Hulk and the first ever Space Hulk battle report in this months White Dwarf. It’s the first copy I’ve bought in a good 10 years, all thanks to the enthusiasm with which the new version has been talked about on here. Well worth a read if you’re interested in the new edition.
Robert,
I’ve been a fan of your various bits and bobs for a long time, and I was happy when a friend told me about your board game adventures. Shortly afterwards, we were excitedly whipping each other with belts on learning about Space Hulk 3rd ed. ice cream. I now have this on order.
My one wish is that GW chooses to re-release other forgotten gems from its back catalogue. Battlefleet Gothic was already impossible to source before my own poison apple (1995), and apart from a few miniatures, it’s sorely needing a revisit. I reckon from the look of your rogue trader review, the spaceship battles page looks very familiar…
From the GW website, typo fans might like “If all this talk of navel battles … has got you excited.” I know I did.
Robert, you’re a handsome scion of gaming for us all to look up to.
… wonderfull.
You captured a time Rab. when polystyrene packaging was seen as a bunker or a set of hills… when pocket money was spent and respent to amass a finer army.
Everytime I walk past GW to work I have a wee nosey at the wonders inside, alot different from the one on queen street next to flip.
One day i will have my ice cream!