Monster Hunter 3 – Hunt Diary 1

29th April 2010

Went swimming for the first time the other night. Seems strange that I had grown to full adulthood without ever venturing into the vast areas of water around me, but it was definitely my first time. I know it was, because a disembodied head was telling me how to do it.

Swimming was a breeze, and felt lovely. I spotted some lovely big fish. I can’t remember their names. I’ll take more notes next time, if I’m doing this diary. Just believe me when I tell you they were nice big fish, and that I celebrated their niceness and bigness by stabbing them repeatedly with my nice big sword.

That same night, by the light of the enormous moon, I went to the village farm for the first time and had a chat with a cat and a weirdo. I asked them to cultivate some mushrooms for me, while wondering if I should maybe stay off the shrooms for a while, since I’m apparently talking to a fucking CAT.

I then went and dumped a load of stuff I had in my bag into the chest in my room. Another cat asked if I wanted to rearrange my furniture. I need help.

Monster Hunting

The latest videogame I’m playing is Monster Hunter 3 on the Wii.

I’ve only ever played one Monster Hunter game before, and it was on the PSP. I’m really not a big fan of playing games on the PSP. The machine just feels bad in your hands. But the game was great, and was an impressive technical feat.

The Wii game is even better. I’ve only been inching into the game so far, stressing myself out about killing the lovely big herbivores at the start. Big peaceful creatures, then along comes you to fuck up their day, by clonking on their head with your oversized anime sword.

Who is the Monster? That’s what I ask you. WHO IS THE REAL MONSTER?!

Look at this scenery, though. Oh it’s nice to just relax and have a spit roast sometimes. Not in the footballer sense.

Jump, you monster!