Zombies!!! Review

I’m scared of Zombies. In a major way. I love them, hate them and fear them. I love them for the way they get right to the heart of terror, thrusting that fear of death into your face. I hate them for giving me many sleepless nights and reminding me of my own mortality. And I fear them because they bite and are scary.

Twilight Creations’ board game Zombies!!! (don’t forget those three exclamation marks!!!) isn’t a new release, by any means. But due to the obsession with zombies in popular culture it might be one of the first board games you buy from a specialist shop. Eyecatching cover and a theme everyone loves. Can’t fail, right?

Well, that’s not exactly the case. I’ve yet to meet someone who loves Zombies!!! I know one member of my group who just the other night said “I don’t know how I feel about Zombies!!!” (When someone doesn’t know how they feel about something, it means they dislike it, but don’t want to say so. As an example – I don’t know how I feel about bathing.) And this is a person who regularly wins the game. You won’t find too many people who will champion Zombies!!! But everyone’s happy to play it. Because it’s easy.

The game is as straightforward as you can get. Each player starts from a central map tile, and in their turn they draw a new map tile (representing a city street in the base game), they place that tile then roll for movement. They move, they combat any zombies they meet – by rolling a dice and hoping for a 4 or more to kill the zombie outright. In each round a player can also play a card. And that’s it.

Interaction with the other players works like this: Zombie movement is generated at the end of each player turn. You can move the horde towards your opponents. And those cards you can play are often designed to screw over an opponent. Bam! You’ve fallen asleep! Bam! The building’s full of zombies! Bam! You dropped your skateboard! (Yes, I know. Skateboard. I know.)

When the helipad map tile is drawn and placed, a mad rush to the chopper begins, and that’s your endgame.

Zombies!!! is a game that shouldn’t really work. There isn’t much going on. And it’s a game that constantly threatens a descent into boredom. But, in my experience, it never gets dull. Maybe I’m just lucky to play with a good (or nasty) group, but our games always seem to accelerate into a frenzy of card-throwing, dice-rolling, foul-mouthed fun.

Session Rewind: Robert has been playing a crafty game. Letting everyone go ahead of him to clear that street of zombies. He hangs back. Sees the way to the helicopter opening up in front of him. It’s a risky game to play. But it works. His turn comes around. A 6 will see him free and clear. Surely he can’t roll a 6 just like that? Just because he wants to? He rolls. It IS a 6. Roars of disapproval. He goes to move. A card gets dropped on him. It sends him running and screaming AWAY from the helicopter, into the thick of the zombies. He sits down, pale, defeated. Now, Kenny needs a 4 to get into that chopper. There’s a zombie right in front of it. That shouldn’t be a problem, right? He rolls a 4. Everyone roars their disapproval. Kenny starts his move. He meets the zombie. Can he kill it and fling himself into the chopper? He rolls. A SIX! He stands, pumps his fist. A card drops. Everyone else sees it before he does. Laughter alerts him to the problem. The zombie has sprung back to life. He knows what happens now. He makes a roll, already defeated. It’s a 1. He dies. Everyone else looks to the chopper again. Still a chance. Still a chance.

You won’t adore Zombies!!! You’ll probably like it. You might even like it a lot. You’ll have plenty of stories to tell about the latest screwy, shitty luck thing to befall you. You’ll make enemies of your friends. You’ll never feel like winning is a huge achievement. You’ll just feel like you’ve got a bit more lucky than the rest. You won’t even play it that often. But you’ll smile when your gaze passes over it. You’ll go “Awww. Zombies.” Something I bet you never expected to say in your life.

It’s pointless to complain about the flaws of the game. House rules are encouraged. If you don’t like an aspect of it, then fix it. Zombies!!! is the game you play when you don’t want to think too much. They call it a Beer ‘n’ Pretzels game for a reason. Although in my house it’s more Midori ‘n’ Pakora. We usually have MTV on while playing. We’re often chatting about something unrelated to zombies (werewolves, perhaps) while firing our shotguns.

If you’re new to the board game thing, you won’t go too far wrong with Zombies!!! Be aware that there are many, many better games out there. Be aware that there are many, many better games about zombies out there too. Enjoy Zombies!!! for what it is. Light, backstabbing fun. About zombies.

I want zombies to not be real, forever. Bye!